Marriage does not really start after paying off bride price, or after wedding, neither is it before any of these things I mentioned above.
You will know that you have actually entered marriage when the following things start happening:
1. Pressure from friends and family expecting you and your spouse to announce the birth of your first child. Some will even be bold enough to ask you if your wife is pregnant, or as a woman if you have taken in, and when will the baby arrive. Meanwhile, when you guys were dating, such questions never came to light.
2. By the time your wife gives birth, you will start facing the reality of feeding more than one or two persons. This will cause another pressure of its own; Although the baby is on exclusive breastfeeding, the food the mother will be eating this time is going to be double so she can meet up in breastfeeding the baby. At this time, if your job or business is not something stable, and if you are not mentally matured, your marriage will start facing trials at that early stage, which is not good to hear about your home.
3. When the child has come up of age, as from one year old, especially when he or she is still learning how to talk, and their best way of communication is through pet-crying, that is crying for you until you pay attention then begin to ask numerous questions before you will be able to know what exactly the child wants. For instance, do you want to drink water? You want to eat bread?
Sometimes the child will cry to you just because he or she wants to play with you but you were not showing concern. If you are not mentally matured, discipline and self control, you will start raising voice for infant that does not know his left to right, while it should not happen because the child is just trying to pass a message to you.
4. When you are in the mood for intimacy but your wife is seriously attending to the baby, you must be calm and show self-discipline because your wife no longer satisfy only your needs in this family. Her responsibilities have increased, therefore your understanding and discipline are highly recommended.
5. The Bills. Not minding how much your wife makes everyday or monthly, you as the man are in charge of paying bills. Yes, your wife may support you as your helper and companion, but that would not stop you from personally arranging all the bills chronologically, according to their importance and timing. You know that when you were single, you decided which bill to pay and which one to push aside, and nothing happened; neither does anyone question you but marriage will teach you how to take responsibility even if you were not prepared for it.
Marriage begins when you start facing trials and pressures, and the ability to handle them without causing chaos between you and your spouse is what makes you mentally ready and matured for marriage. Before you start thinking about getting married, examine yourself to know if you are fully mentally ready or matured to handle all the responsibilities that will face your marriage because they are not negotiable or avoidable.
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